Hello!

So I don't get to update nearly as frequently as I would like. So I was thinking maybe I should start a thread on Dokuga, where I share previews of the upcoming chapter! I would like to use this space to share my process, my ideas, and cool little facts unknown by the reader!

Feel free to ring in with your thoughts or edits if you see errors!


-PREVIEW-
Autumn
Chapter 15
By Evellin


...

Slowly returning to his full height, Sesshomaru glared down his nose at the enraged Miko, his eyes as cold and unyielding as his expression. Untangling his hand from the nape of Kagome's neck, the Inu lord revoked his left hand just as his gaze fell from the Miko, and instead looked toward the distant horizon laid out before them. It was here that the Inu lord spoke yet again.

“You as well as your old pack, have acted foolishly by over-estimating the Hanyou's skills at evasion. It was merely a matter of time before another Yokai tracked your location.” Though his glowing amber eyes had revoked their steely glare from her person, Kagome still felt the weight of Sesshomaru's words. Like nails to a chalkboard, the Yokai's declaration sent Kagome's teeth chattering.

“Is that what you think?!” Kagome hissed, her blue eyes narrowing as she continued to look upon the silver haired Inu with smooth, magenta striping. Pressing her lips together a thin line, the Miko felt her cheeks flush as her frustration began to mount. “We had everything perfectly under control until you showed up this morning!”

Though his eyes remained locked upon the distant, black horizon, Kagome watched as Sesshomaru's jaw muscle twitch in aggravation. It was in this small, silent moment that Kagome felt it; a heavy weight electrifying the tension between herself and the Inu Yokai. Though indescribable, the sensation caused her hair to stand on end; Not from the bitter cold biting at her flesh, or the constant contact with the male who stole her away. Rather, this premonition came from Sesshomaru's unspoken reply, pulling at the Miko's intuition and instilling doubt within her mind.

“Wait...” Kagome gasped, her eyes looking upon her Inu as a theory began to develop within her working mind. “...You didn't just show up this morning.... Did you?”

Silence crackled through the air, intensifying the tension between the two mated beings as they continued their travels upon the Yokai's glittering cloud of reiki. Though words went unspoken, the slightest tightening of Sesshomaru's right arm was reply enough. His wordless confirmation to her growing notion caused the ningen onna to gasp in both shock and anger.

'Of course....!' Kagome mentally flipped through yesterdays events, recalling the short span of time spent at the small hot spring. Neither herself or any other member of the group had sensed Sesshomaru's presence; the Yokai had remained perfectly elusive within the Northern pine forest. However, now thinking back to last nights antics, Kagome recalled words whispered through her mind as she changed out of the silken kimono from the Western Shiro, and into her current Miko garb. 'I do not share, Kagome...' Sesshomaru had mentally told her. At the same time, his emotions were shared; the main of which had been anger... Anger at her nudity, anger at her reckless behavior... Anger over a silken kimono from the West being discarded for the commonly attire of a lowly Miko.

And that was when she realized; Sesshomaru had been there the whole time.


....END OF PREVIEW....



Throughout this fanfiction, I try really hard to put little details in, that will be used in a later chapter. My ultimate goal for a story is to build the tension, offering little peeks of tension until the very end where I deliver the main climax. So, when you see little bits of information, more than likely it is a buildup to a future event. - At least that is what I TRY to do...

Anyway, I hope you like this preview!

If you have any questions about my fanfiction, Autumn, please, let me know! <3

-Evellin

EDIT BY WICCAN: This story is rated MA, NO YIMs!!

This is actually a very, very good idea. I do not get to update as often as I would like on my bigger stories and feel really bad about it.

Also - haven' read Autumn BUT your preview is interesting! (:

This preview is actually very good, but you need to edit the text. The way in which you use words like revoked, is incorrect. Like this: Untangling his hand from the nape of Kagome's neck, the Inu lord revoked his left hand just as his gaze fell from the Miko, and instead looked toward the distant horizon laid out before them

Revoke means to annul or cancel something like to revoke an order or to revoke a contract. It is not traditionally associated with movement as in your phrasing of Sesshoumaru moving his hand/fingers from Kagome's hair.

You need to use another word like remove or something similar. It would make sense. Since remove means to take something away from or out of something, so it can be associated with movement of a hand or fingers being pulled away from something or someone.

The phrase like Sent Kagome's teeth chattering doesn't make sense either. For a person's teeth to chatter it isn't a sign of fear or anger or anxiety. Chattering teeth is associated with cold or feeling intense cold. So the use of it in the text of the story doesn't make sense once it's followed by Kagome being angry.

There are sections where you miss out words and where sentences would read better with another word subbed in to replace others like this: However, now thinking back to last nights antics

The word events would read better than antics, since an event is a happening or an occurrence of something, while an antic is usually related to some sort of mischief. The paragraph where this line comes from reads more like you are describing an event from the previous evening/day, not some kind of trickery or mischief that Sesshoumaru was involved in. The paragraph further explains that Sesshoumaru was observing, rather then being directly involved, suggesting that he wasn't getting into trouble or making mischief.

Again the preview is very good. The description is fairly solid enough to flow like water when read, but occasionally trips up here and there. I would suggest a base edit with some proofing here and there for better readability. You don't really need a beta. The writing is of good quality already.

~ Pyre

P.S: Well done, but beware of possessives too, especially in the phrase 'last nights antics'. If the antics belong to last night than it should read as 'night's' antics with an apostrophe and an 'S' on the end.

Thank you so much for your thorough edit! I will keep in mind what you listed when I go through my final read through, and do my alterations.

-Evellin