Okay, this is the deal. Review whoring is not allowed on this site, but no others seem to have simialar rules.

I challenge you, the reviewer, to write the most unrelated review for any story that is held hostage by the author for number of reviews. This is meant to discourage the practice, not necessarily the author.

These bad/crack reviews are not in anyway to resemble flames. You can mary sue yourself into the story, or another story. You can do whatever you want as long as there is no personal attack on the author or the story. If you honestly have a critique of the story then do it in a true review.

IF you are wondering what a mary sue review looks like, ladybattousai posted some excellent examples in another thread in general discussion called "Don't You Hate it".

I think that anytime you come across a story that is held hostage post the name and site here. There are a fair number of us who like this idea and will post the same type of nonsensical review.

If this in violation of this sites rules, then I apologize.


Again, I want to state, this is not meant to attack the author or neccessarly their story. We want to put an end to review whoring.

We might hold a contest of the best crack review. I don't know what you will win, but we will see. It will also be hard to judge, because more than likely these reviews will get deleted.

emmaren

I'm in. I hate review whoring and readers need to fight back!

Viva La Resistance

Of course those reviews will get deleted, some of them might even get flamed in public by the NumberJacks that recieved them! So I think I'll add some Screw-Rules to make it easy -

1) If you find an author pimping her story out, post the link to this thread. Such an author will henceforth be forever known as a NumberJack.

2) No new candidates for the next 2 days. Once we have a story, we work on it before moving to another.

3) Post your crack review/reviews to the story...I think we should limit it to no more than 3 crack reviews per Hooker-Snitcher (that's us). Also post a copy of your reviews to this thread, so they aren't lost in translation, or deletion.

4) After two days, we pick the best bit of insanity for the the story in question. Since awards will be given out on a story-to-story basis, every Snitch gets a chance to shine!

5) Your cracks will be judged on a general popularity basis, or else we'll all vote. One vote per Snitch.

6) If a NumberJack gets fiesty, we don't get fiester. We simply advertise her pimp agency to the masses. The resulting embarrassment should be enough.


These, I think, should be the rules for now. Anyone dissenting, or wishing for alterations, is free to do so.

Are we going to be anonymous reviewers? I can see the NumberJacks harassing people and getting their loyal Johns (their readers) to do so also, and I do not want trouble for any Hooker-Snitchers.

Hey, we're the rennaisance guys! What's the use of sparking a revolution if you won't take credit for it? The object is to teach the NumberJacks a lesson they won't unlearn, so yes, we do it in full battle regalia. Going incognito will simply put us down as loonybins; they won't even realise they're being prosecuted, oppressed, whatever. And Screw-Rule 6) is explicit on the fate of a NumberJack who tries to make trouble for anyone.

There's only room for one Street Gang in every neighbourhood. And in this neighbourhood, we're it.

I have no concern for myself. I plan on laughing when the NumberJacks and Johns e-mail me. I was concerned for other Hooker-Snitchers that may be more sensitive than I. However, now that I think about it this is no place for sensitivity. I also had the thought of a group of unknown ninja fighting to take down review whoring, but this may be a product of my overactive imagination, and I just watched Fight Club. I am so impressionable, stupid Fight Club.

HA! Let em try with me! I have a thick skin, am an author-I can take it! They know not who they mess with!

Danyealle

I'm taking my ponytail and earrings out in preparation for the throw down...

This is why I love you all.

On Fanfiction.net: I hate review whores, they're such losers!
Adultfanfiction.net: I hate review whores, I want my word porno!
Dokuga.com: Let's get 'em!

I would like to say that when I relocate the one that has a chart I will post the link. I would wait the complementary waiting period, but with my memory I might forget.

As for awards/voting lets us call these crack reviews instead of bad review. Also there should be at least to different groups. Individual and collaborative. You would not believe the insanity that ensues when you break your message up between at least two people.

Who's got a story?

Miss Kagura wrote,

This is why I love you all.

On Fanfiction.net: I hate review whores, they're such losers!
Adultfanfiction.net: I hate review whores, I want my word porno!
Dokuga.com: Let's get 'em!

*snicker*

I thought you were supposed to ride herd on us, not encourage us!

I forgot my hall monitor badge today!

Which means you have all the makings of our favourite hall monitor!!!!!

Hey guys..since we're still mounting our rifles, I hunted round for some AK-47s and found this - a WONDERFUL guide to Mary-Sues for us decent authors, so that we may proceed to make ourselves as intolerable as we can ever be:

http://www.fictionpress.com/s/1440163/1/

I'm so in. Bring on the review whores! Wawa, I shall be ze mole.

I love this plan!! Let us march upon the enemy in full force!!
It is so irritating to come across a fic where the author feels the need to say "If i dont recieve X amount of reviews i will not upload the next chapter until that number is reached." Its so sad, and such an idle threat isnt gonig to make me want to review!!

On the home page is a story, Lost Memories by Instyle. The last line in her description is "no reviews means no update." Is this considered review whoring or just a defeatist ploy?

I'm not sure. Where are the rules for this site? I thought when I joined there was something about review whoring getting you booted.

I think that if we do not want this to get vicious, we should stick to only the ones that explicitly states "x amount of reviews before next update"


emmaren

dokuga.com/component/option,com_ewriting/Itemid,153/chapter,3387/func,chapterinfo/story,810/type,0/

WHOOP! WHOOP! WHOOP! Alert! Alert!

And it be GONE! Good job admins!

Danyealle

Emmaren sent me a message. Yes, holding stories hostage for reviews is strictly against the rules. When something like this is reported, we can just hide the story from being listed until the author can correct it.

If you see it here, it's very much preferred that the violation be reported. The people who have done this here only did it once, that's for sure.

If you see it here, it's very much preferred that the violation be reported. The people who have done this here only did it once, that's for sure.

Problem is where to report it! I had to dig up your e-mail addy from the dungeon on my main e-mail site (didn't think about the easy way-dun ask brain fried). Is there an easier way to report things? If not maybe there should be.

Danyealle

There's actually a 'Contact Us' at the bottom of each and every page, with different ways to get in touch. It was only recently moved there, as sort of a minor reorganization.

I see a contact form in the pretty near future.

Yeah, was looking for it elsewhere (I never scroll all the way to the bottom so never saw it) so was digging around to find your addy.

Danyealle

i got finked.

Oh wait, I'm not suppose to be ashamed of that.

Seriously, since we have started this thread I have not run across one story being held hostage. It's upseting too because I broke out all my mary sues and now they have no one to annoy.


emmaren