I think you did exactly the right thing. This person clearly has a personal grudge, one that is so all encompassing that they can't let go of it. Resurrecting a years old slight in a public forum is just plain tacky and taking you to task for setting the rules in your own forum is even tackier. If they want to go forward with their vendetta against this other author, they have their own personal pages to do that.

In my experience, internets drama is best avoided. It's far too easy to intentionally hurt people because of the shield of anonymity the internet gives us. It's sometimes hard to see the humanity behind the screen-names, and you've done just that. Be proud of yourself and don't second guess your decision because some other user just can't give up a grudge and let bygones be bygones.

I am (by default) the sole moderator and co-owner of a Yahoo!Group. The group is fully moderated, meaning that no messages are posted until I read them. This has cut down on a tremendous amount of spamming, as well as prevented some problems from rearing their ugly heads.

Recently, a controversy that occurred almost 2 years ago was revisited by one of the members. I refused to allow the post that would incite discussion over it and was accused of willfully censoring things to push my own agenda.

Without getting into too much detail, it was a conflict between two authors, neither of whom are currently posting anything using their former pseudonyms, if they are posting at all. I was privy to the details from both sides of the conflict and sided with one over the other - thus I suppose I could be accused of some bias.

My question: Was I wrong to refuse to allow this drama from the past to be rehashed?

My feeling is that the group I am running should be one where people can exchange ideas freely, but that unnecessary drama should be prevented. This person's insistence on trying to re-argue something that happened so long ago struck me as falling in that realm. Needless to say, I have received a few scathing PMs from the person calling my integrity into question.

So, help me out here, friends... what would YOU do?
:/
~~Wiccan~~

Not a mod, but if you don't mind me answering...as long as you don't feel that you were bias than I'd say not to worry about it. Bringing up past baggage is really just drama queens wanting attention and you did the right thing by not letting it get to the general public of your site. If the messages have always been 'mod must approve' than they knew this was likely to happen and posted anyways hoping to either start drama with you or hoping to get it past you and starting it with the other members.

As a past owner of a site, Sailor Moon RPG, I've come across things like this myself and you've gotta do what's best for the group as a whole, which you clearly did. Just explain to the person that everything is over and done with and the group doesn't need old problems coming back up again. Tell them there is nothing saying they have to stay and if they still give you problems, use your mod given powers to boot them.

Quite frankly, what is to be gained by rehashing it? Especially when the two people involved are no longer posting, as far as you know.

It sounds like someone sticking their nose into business not their own, and now they are mad about being told to MYOB.

I say you are right and DOING YOUR JOB in refusing to allow this to rise back up to the surface. The site is for more than just this one person. What gives them the right to demand you assist them in pushing THEIR personal agenda? This thing is two years old already, it should remain dead and buried.

I can't believe anyone actually wants to revisit old drama, but if they do, they can start their own site and encourage a debate on the matter.

O_o I fail to see how revisiting an old drama will be beneficial to the group, but I can see many ways in which it would be detrimental. That alone tells me you made a reasonable decision. Why would a conflict between two authors even be relevant to the intended purpose of the group? How would it enhance the enjoying of Sess/Kag stories?

Furthermore, if neither author is posting any more, it's not very fair to be openly discussing them behind their backs...or is the poster one of the authors in question? In that case it's especially not fair as the other person has no opportunity to defend themselves, in which case the argument is one-sided, in which case: Why bother posting it?

You aren't being biased, because your reason for withholding the post is not your dastardly plan to corrupt free speech and bring down America (You villainess, you!), but to maintain a pleasant environment in a site that is, essentially, yours. It's your site. You get to say what goes on in there.

Hairann wrote:
Not a mod, but if you don't mind me answering...as long as you don't feel that you were bias than I'd say not to worry about it. Bringing up past baggage is really just drama queens wanting attention and you did the right thing by not letting it get to the general public of your site. If the messages have always been 'mod must approve' than they knew this was likely to happen and posted anyways hoping to either start drama with you or hoping to get it past you and starting it with the other members.

As a past owner of a site, Sailor Moon RPG, I've come across things like this myself and you've gotta do what's best for the group as a whole, which you clearly did. Just explain to the person that everything is over and done with and the group doesn't need old problems coming back up again. Tell them there is nothing saying they have to stay and if they still give you problems, use your mod given powers to boot them.

Thanks for the input... I'm sure the person whose post I rejected would accuse me of bias, but I simply don't see the need to argue something that supposedly died 2 years ago. Just silly, IMHO.

I was given co-ownership over a year ago, and my co-owner has been AWOL for the last six months. I think I've had the group on full moderation for at least another six months now, but this person is a new member. I find myself wondering if they just joined to see what was up and start stuff, y'know? Who knows? Hopefully, after having explained myself a couple of times, at GREAT length, the person will get tired of getting 4-page long emails... what do you think? *wink*

Again, thanks so much for your input and suggestions!!

~~Wiccan~~

possessed wrote:
Quite frankly, what is to be gained by rehashing it? Especially when the two people involved are no longer posting, as far as you know.

It sounds like someone sticking their nose into business not their own, and now they are mad about being told to MYOB.

I say you are right and DOING YOUR JOB in refusing to allow this to rise back up to the surface. The site is for more than just this one person. What gives them the right to demand you assist them in pushing THEIR personal agenda? This thing is two years old already, it should remain dead and buried.

I can't believe anyone actually wants to revisit old drama, but if they do, they can start their own site and encourage a debate on the matter.

I know, that was MY first thought... like, um, WHY? I just couldn't fathom how this person felt it would be beneficial to ANYONE to stir up the muck again but, well, you know how people get sometimes!

Since the site ownership was given to me by its creator, I kinda forget that I am the owner sometimes, and I still tend to act more like a custodian. I keep hoping that the creator will find the time and interest in the future to return, and I'd like it if she had something to come back to. Yeah, I shoulda been an inu, huh? Loyal as all heck. *snicker*

ANYway, thank you VERY much for your opinion. I appreciate it enormously, since I really don't have (or want) that much experience 'managing' a three-ring circus that big!! Hopefully, person-thing will toddle off elsewhere and we can go back to our regularly scheduled SILENCE!

~~Wiccan~~

tallymark wrote:

You aren't being biased, because your reason for withholding the post is not your dastardly plan to corrupt free speech and bring down America (You villainess, you!), but to maintain a pleasant environment in a site that is, essentially, yours. It's your site. You get to say what goes on in there.

Oh Tally... dear, DEAR Tally!!! BWAHAHAHA! "Villainess," indeed!! Well, that's what I felt like after getting that person's messages. Oh well, can't please all the people all the time, eh?

And you're right, it is, essentially, MY site, even if I wasn't the original creator. I don't see anyone else stepping up to the plate, that's for sure. I just tend to worry about whether or not I'm being fair when I "censor" stuff like that but, like you said, I like a pleasant environment without a batch of drama. Life has enough trials and tribulations all its very own, I don't feel the need to assist in creating more!

Thanks so much for your kind words and input. I REALLY, REALLY appreciate it!!!

~~me~~

Your very welcome, always happy to share my opinions and if the person is a new member, the profile was probably just made for that reason, or at least to give them the chance to start problems. Since you've already dealt with them multiple times, just forget about them.

A agree, rehashing old drama will serve no purpose. And if it's a 'newbie' doing it that tends to lead to the line of thought that they joined to do just that.

And if you need help with the group, yell. I'll be more than willing to do so!

Danyealle wrote:

And if you need help with the group, yell. I'll be more than willing to do so!

Thanks so much, but be warned... I just might have to take you up on that offer!

Then again, I think I'd much rather have you busy writing than dealing with the slings and arrows that erupt occasionally over there... much better use of your time!! *wink*

~~me~~

hahahaha! I can do both, believe me. You need help you know how to get a hold of me! More than willing to do so.

Wiccan i know so too much how you feel. I think you were right its not bias it saving the fandom and them members the hassle of drama that has long been over. You did good!

is this the situation I think it is? The one i received 16 copies of e-mails on??

Just let it be. if it's old drama then it doesn't need to be rehashed. We've done the same thing here once drama was finished...ask that it doesn't be brought up again to save aggravation and hurt feelings. you're acting just fine. if they accuse you of anything you just let me know. I'll come at them with my pointy-ended stick.

Priestess Skye wrote:
is this the situation I think it is? The one i received 16 copies of e-mails on??


Nah, I think it's the one that came first that year... in April 2007. I can't remember if you were a member then or not. It was about the plagiarism thing, if that rings a bell.

Anyway, after attempting a post on the subject, this person PM'd me, full of accusations about fairness and rife with guilt trips. And I have NO clue why the person thought it appropriate to dredge it all up again. No FREAKIN' clue.

S'ok, though. This person will eventually get tired of getting 4 page email responses from me and give up, I'm sure. I just have these little moments where I question whether or not I was right to squash the whole thing, but most of our currently active members have no idea what the situation entailed, and it would be soooooo very time consuming to bring everyone up to speed.

I've had so many comments on the group about how refreshing it is to be in a group like ours where you're not spammed to death with messages, and I'd kinda like to keep it that way - unless we're discussing something that would BENEFIT the members. I didn't see where this would.

THANK YOU SO MUCH for the support (AND your pointy-ended stick LOL!), m'dear. You have no idea how VERY much I appreciate it - and YOU!!!!!!!!

~~me~~

Nobody wrote:
Wiccan i know so too much how you feel. I think you were right its not bias it saving the fandom and them members the hassle of drama that has long been over. You did good!

Thank you Nobody!!! That makes me feel better than you'll ever know! *HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF* I know you've had to make some tough decisions here and I was hoping to get some input from you folks about how you felt about situations like that.

YOU ROCK!!

~~Wiccan~~

Yeah internet can be intense. I did the same thing you did. Send them loooong emails until they just dont want to read anymore!

First, I would like to say that when I come to a site like this I only want to read the drama in the fan fictions. I come here to relax and get away from reality, but when people come here and troll, it ruins my experience.

Wiccan, I would like to say that you showed your common sense in this matter and did a great job of protecting my fan fiction experience. Too bad common sense is not so common.