The Sword in the Golden Plat-formish Thing by Saraiyu Aes Sedai

Enter! A Damsel in Distress, a Knight, and a Lord!

Once upon a time, there was a high and mighty Lord of all the Western Lands. The lord had two sons, and he wished for only one of them to be his heir. Of course, to choose his heir, he needed to have a idiot-proof test...

---

Two brothers fought over the sword and over who would draw it. The elder brother had already inherited his father's lands, and Inuyasha, after a long, enlightening nap, had decided to challenge Sesshomaru's claim. So the issue had been taken to Squire Myouga, who said that there was a sword... stuck in a gold-platformish-thing... and whoever drew it was the true Lord of all the Western Lands.

Currently, Sir Sesshomaru of Taisho, the Head of House Taisho, Lord of the Western Lands, had lowered himself to beating up his former squire, and little half-brother, Sir Inuyasha of Forest a Knight of the Round Well.

It was obvious who was going to win. The Lord Knight Sesshomaru had the upper hand. He was smarter, stronger, had better weaponry, better attacks, better strategies, more balance, more skill, a brain, and, of course, he had the Fluffy Pelt of Doom. Sir Inuyasha had only two things on the Lord Knight – he had better armor and he was way better at sulking.

Not that sulking had anything to do with the outcome of the match.

Oh, and he had his fair damsel in distress.

"Sir Inuyasha! C'mon, get 'im!" the eccentric Lady Kagome of Higurashi, heir to the Higurashi lands, cried, trying to give her -cough-sadexcusefora-cough- Knight in Shining Armor a boost of confidence.

Sir Inuyasha smirked to himself. He patted the white handkerchief at his breast – the handkerchief Lady Kagome had given him as token of her admiration. To show he respected and honored the lady, he wore the token into battle as a promise to protect her.

"You stupid noble!" Jaken, Lord Knight Sesshomaru's page cried, and rushed to subdue the Lady with his wooden practice staff.

The lady, trained in the art of Wildly Flailing at Green Toads, widly flailed at Jaken, who was promptly whacked away by a random, lucky blow.

'Oh no! Whatever shall I do? The Lord Knight is beating up my knight! Nyuuu!' ... Following this line of thought, Lady Kagome eventually decided that she would grab the sword from the platform-y thing, and give it to her courageous knight. For a boost of confidence, of course, because frankly, the sword looked like an old peice of junk.

Rushing up to it, she gripped the sword. 'C'mon, Kagome!' She thought, cheering herself on. She tensed, ready to attempt to pull the sword from the platform. Then she tripped, and gripped the sword as an anchor.

Unfortunately, the sword chose that moment to be a prick, and decided the damsel in distress would not use it as an anchor. The end result?

Lady Kagome fell off the platform, with Tessaiga in her hands. Her eyes widened, and she called out tentatively. "...Inu- Inuyasha...?"

---

The brothers were so engaged in their fight, they didn't even notice the small skirmish that occurred betwixt the Lord Knight's page, and Sir Inuyasha's lady. Nor did they notice Lady Kagome as she scrambled up to the sword.

Then...

They both heard Lady Kagome as she called Inuyasha's name.

They both looked at the lady.

They both saw the Tessaiga in her hands, and the empty platform behind her.

"..."

They were both speechless. But, of course, Lord Knight Sesshomaru managed to look regally speechless. Sir Inuyasha face-faulted.

---

"Lady Kagome! You drew the sword!" Myouga cried out in surprise.

"Er... I guess I did," She blinked in confusion as Myouga hopped over to the platform.

"And I quote, from the platform, 'Who so pulleth out this sword from thy Golden-Platform-ish Thing, is rightwise ruler born of all the Western Lands!'"

"WHAT?!" Two voices – belonging to a distressed damsel and an outraged knight – screeched in unison. Lord Knight Sesshomaru was too cool to screech, though he wanted to. So he contented himself with a "..." and leveled a glare at the lady and Myouga.

"Oh, I forgot something! In fine text, beneath what I just read says... 'If thy puller of thy sword happens to be female, she shalt marry the eldest son of Lord Sir Knight Inu of Taisho' – that's Sesshomaru! – 'and they shall bear an heir who is the true Lord of the Western Lands.' Ah, how romantic!" Myouga exclaimed.

... Then Sesshomaru felt the need to scream, "WHAT?!"

Inuyasha decided it was the perfect moment to faint clean away.

Lady Kagome, seeing the two males were unfit to take action, drew a random paintbrush out of her kimono.

Joining Myouga by the stand, she began to write something.

When she pulled away, Myouga gaped at the new writing, and they shared a devilish grin.

The second part of Inu of Taisho's 'will', for lack of a better word, was shaded in.

[A/N. ::gigglesnort::]