Starving by InutaiyoukaiNichne

Starving Sukuro-Ru Itchi

Starving

Kagome's Point of View

She walked into the clearing feeling something that she had never felt before. She was confused as to whom it might be that was feeling the pain that she could feel coming from them. It wasn't a physical pain but the pain that she felt was so intense that it would have brought them to their knees who ever it might be. She wasn't sure that it was safe to go but she had never been able to leave some one in pain until they were feeling better no matter the pain and no matter who it might be.

Her long black hair flew behind her a strong wind picked up, her golden brown eyes more golden than they should be for a human scanned the area, she couldn't at first find what it was that she was looking for. The next wave of pain showed her the way to the person that she had come in search of. The shivering mass of white told her whom it was that was calling out to her. She held her breath what was she going to do? He had more than once tried to kill her, should she help him and pray that he wouldn't kill her for doing so? She felt for him there were so many things that even she didn't know about him, what would he do if she just stood there and tried to comfort him?

He was there on the ground almost curled up in a ball. His pain was so intense that he was fighting against himself for some reason. He didn't want to feel the pain that was ripping him apart but she wasn't at all sure that he knew why it was that he felt it in the first place. So for him this must be more terrifying than for the normal person. She wanted to help him but what did she do what could she say? She knew that he quite possibly would kill her for seeing him in this position, for her to talk to him would only make things worse. Would he allow her to stand at his side if nothing else she didn't want to die to help him not yet at least she would for others that she knew but for him that was a little of a stretch for even her.

She slowly walked up to him; her heart was pulling her now to his side. Nothing in her life had pulled her like this. She could walk away from things like this before but not now not from him for some reason she was being pulled to his side. She wanted to help him; no she needed to help him. Tonight under the stars and the crescent moon she was drawn to him, as she had been nothing else in her life. This was something that she had to do nothing and no one would stop her. Her friends weren't expecting her back for a while. His brother wouldn't come looking for her knowing that she could take care of herself now. He might worry if she were gone to long but she didn't care for some reason the white ball on the ground had her complete and totally attention. She needed to do this and she would find a way to tell the others about it later right now he was all that she cared about.

Her steps were silent on the grass that covered the floor of the clearing that they were in. she lowered her head knowing that as an animalistic youkai that he would see that as a sign of submission one that she could only hope that he would accept. She didn't really want to get down on her knees but she knew that it was a possibility not knowing that had caused him to feel this pain.

His long silver hair laid on the ground behind him fanning around him creating a glittering effect on the grass that surrounded him. His vanilla pelt was curled around him as if trying to hold him, to comfort him. His face was buried in his hands, one of those hands she herself had given back to him several months ago. His extended silver claws glimmered in the silver light of the moon that flowed down into the clearing as if even the moon wanted to embrace him in his time of pain. His strong back was curved as his legs strong and long were pulled up against his chest. He was in so much pain she couldn't stand to see it. He shouldn't feel pain not like this no one should. She stopped before she got within reach of him but she knew that she was close enough that he could still kill her if that was his desire and simply stood there silently as she tired to come up with something to say to him.

His pained whimper brought her to reality as she again looked at him. His eyes still hidden by his hands but the pain was really getting to him. She had to do something to help him, what could she do? She knelt down on the dew-covered grass getting her knees covered in black silk damp from the moisture. Her long black silk sleeves brushed against the ground her long black cloak trailed behind her as she attempted to reach out to him. He needed to know that he wasn't alone in his time of pain. She wasn't sure of what he would do but the sight of him in pain was too much for her heart to take. He flinched away from her touch almost as if he were frightened of her. She didn't understand what it was that pained him but she wanted to help him. Her whole body heart and soul screamed at her to try to touch him, to try to reach him, to let him know that she was really there and that she didn't want to hurt him or take advantage of this she really wanted to be there for him. She had to be no one else that she knew would even care if he were in pain but she did. She understood why he was so guarded and she cared about him, she didn't know if she loved him but she did care. Though she was taking a chance with her life she knew that she would stay with him until he was all right.

He whimpered again, what ever the pain was he was fighting against it. What ever was the cause he needed to deal with it and move beyond it. But how did one tell a powerful youkai like him that he needed to move on with life no matter what the pain that he was in at the moment? She didn't know, she wanted to though desperately she wanted to know how to help him. She again tried to reach out to him; he again pulled back from her touch as if she would burn him. This time though he didn't pull back as far nor as harshly as the first time. The first time his withdrawal was violent almost but this time it almost seemed as if he thought about it first, if only for a second.

"I am not going to hurt you Sesshomaru. What is it that has pained you so?" she asked her voice low and caring

"I am dying, I am starving..."

"The pain feels like you are dying doesn't it? You are starving for what?" she asked knowing that he didn't eat all that much he didn't need to.

While he had traveled with them as they finished off Naraku she had found out that though he did eat at times that he didn't need to the moonlight restored him every night. He did choose to eat from time to time but it wasn't as if he could die of starvation, he could live off of the moonlight alone if he chose to, and not even his brother knew that about him. The only reason that she did was one night that he had been with them she had noticed that he hadn't eaten for about 3 days and she was worried about him, caring about him as she did then she asked him why he didn't eat, only at the time to be answered in silence. Later that night he pulled her to the side and told her that he didn't need to, that the reason that he hadn't until then was that they didn't have much food in the first place. The next day he and Jaken returned with food and they ate with them for the first time since they had joined up with the original tachi. After that about every two days he and Jaken returned with food and he would eat if only to ease Kagome's fear for his health, or so he told her after being asked about it.

"Something that I can't have..." his voice almost a growl in his throat as another wave of pain crashed over him

"What would that be? Tell me, I am worried about you."

"Why would you do that?" again a growl from him but at least he was talking now a little even if it was in riddles almost.

"You are some one special to me." Was all that she could say to him. She wanted to touch him to let him know that she was there for him but would he let her now that they were talking. It had never bothered him before now well not since he had traveled with them and she had restored his arm but now that he was in pain there was no way to tell unless she did it, and right now she was ready to take the chance on him no matter what he did she would touch him this time. She would not allow him to lock her outside of him when he needed some one to under stand and to care about him so much.

She reached out her hand to his face; he needed to know that he wasn't alone now. For so long he had taken all the weight and borne it on his own that he didn't understand what it was that friends really did for each other. Granted she didn't really want to be only his friend but for now that was what she would settle for. She knew that he knew that she was reaching out to him, this time he wasn't pulling aback from her, he almost moved into the touch of her hand on his face. She didn't know what it was that he wanted from her but at least he was allowing her to touch him, she wanted to comfort him.

"Do you know how long I have waited to hear that from you? Do you know how long I have waited for your touch?" he asked, as he seemed to calm at her touch.

"No I don't, why did you back away from me the first two times?" she asked low

"I didn't know how you felt about me." His voice torn

"Tell me what it is that you are starving for?" she asked concern in her voice

"I can't tell you, all I can say is that your touch helps the hunger." His voice still contained a hitch but not much of one. It was softer than the one she knew from him, warmer somehow as she sat there with him.

"Why cant you tell me don't you trust me?"

"If I didn't you wouldn't be this close to me."

"I meant trust me with your feelings. I know that you are not physically injured I know that this has something to do with your emotions but I don't know what. I need you to tell me."

"I can't tell you. Just sit here with me for a while I will be fine in a few minutes and you can return to the others. I know that they will be worried about you soon. You have all ready been here for some time. I don't relish the idea of my brother finding me here like this." His voice rough again he was hiding something from her.

"Why are you hiding from me?"

"This is something that I have to figure out Kagome it isn't right to have you try to fix this for me. Just know that your touch is helping with the pain that is all that you need to know."

"I still don't understand why are you hiding from me?"

"I don't want to tell you Kagome, just let it go for now." He was almost pleading with her to let this go

"All right but I will stay with you no matter how long it takes you should not have to feel that kind of pain even though you don't want to tell me what the cause of it is." She sighed she knew that he wouldn't tell her anything about it now. He would continue to hide it until he wanted her to know and since his lifetime was so much longer than her own she might never know what it was that had brought him to this tonight.

They sat there for a while longer both knowing that there was something major going on for him to have been brought to that state without physical injury. He didn't want to tell her and she was dying to know what could have caused that much pain for him. He was always so strong even though he had others to lean on. Even the people of the tachi would have talked to him about what ever it was that was causing this pain. He wouldn't seek them out he would do this on his own as he had so many other things in his life.

He finally got up and moved from her hand, still not allowing her to see his eyes. For some reason the whole time that she had been there with him tonight he had not allowed her to see them. She wanted to before she left. He stood and dusted himself off.

Sesshomaru's Point of View

Unknown to her removing himself from her hand had brought the pain back ten fold but he wouldn't allow her to see it. He would not let her see his eyes if she did then she would know just what it was that had caused this pain in him tonight. She didn't need to know about his pain not this one; she was so pure that she might not even understand it. He didn't want to burden her heart with this it was too much to ask of her.

"Let me see your eyes before I go." She asked quietly

"No Kagome I am better now. Take that and leave knowing that only you could have eased that pain for even a moment." His voice a whisper, his back turned to her, he didn't want to let her see what it was that he needed or wanted.

"Please Sesshomaru let me see your face before I go." She pleaded tears edging into her voice

"Kagome know that I don't mean to hurt you I just cant."

"Why not?" she asked as the first tears threatened to fall from her eyes

"I cant burden you with this please leave it at that." It hurt him to say those words to her but he couldn't allow her to take this, he had to find a way to deal with this on his own as he had every time that they were around each other. Now it was getting harder to do, every time that she walked away a part of him followed her. He knew that it always would, from now until the day that she finally died, he would die then he could only hope that he could find someone else to take his place when that happened, that was if the pain of her missing from his side didn't kill him first.

"Sesshomaru what could be so bad that you wouldn't let me in?" her voice carried the tears that he could now smell from her. Each and every tear went though him like a hundred swords into his heart but he wouldn't turn and face her he had to stay strong she didn't need to know. It was hard enough to deal with even with her not knowing what it was that almost killed him tonight.

"Kagome I don't want to trouble your heart over this, please do as I have asked you and leave it be for now. I will be fine. Trust me." His voice told her much more than he wanted it to but then again she was the only one that could read it, so though he knew that she could he would allow her that if nothing else. There was a pain in his voice he knew that but she didn't know its source so she would have no clue as to how to help him that was all that he wanted.

"Sesshomaru don't lock me out, I am here for you tell me please don't leave while you are still in pain over something that you don't want to talk to me about. Stay by my side if it helps to ease your pain I don't care I don't want you to be in pain."

Her tears were tearing him apart, he had to leave there was no way that he would be able to control the urge to comfort her should she continue to cry over this. She didn't know she wouldn't understand what it was that tormented him. This was something that he had to deal with on his own. No matter how much he longed to tell her he knew that he could never put her through that kind of pain. He would never allow her to come to that kind of pain for anyone. Just thinking about the solution to his problems killed him. To think that he could have all that he wanted and all that it required was to put her in the ultimate torture almost killing her all for what he wanted, he couldn't do that to her. Not now not ever she was too pure to endure that kind of pain.

"I cant Kagome this is something that you will not carry for me. I will see you again of that I am certain but please don't fret over this I am fine that is all that matters." With that he did the hardest thing that he had ever done in his life, he walked away from everything that he had ever wanted or needed in his life, so that she wouldn't feel the pain that he did right now and so that she would never have to feel it.

He heard her sobs but he had to leave her she didn't need to deal with this it would be wrong of him to do that to her for his own reasons. It was wrong of his brother to use her as he had done for so long. That was why he had taught her how to use her powers in the first place, but now just the thought of having her that close to him again was pure torment. His heart was bleeding knowing that she was all that he had desired for so long but he couldn't have her because he didn't want to hurt her. It wouldn't be long now before his blood beast took full control over him and began to hunt her down. He would have to talk to his brother so that he could make sure that she was safe from him. He didn't want to hurt her but knowing what he did he knew that he wouldn't be able to control it much longer. He turned into the direction of his brother knowing full well what he was about to do.

His brother knew that he was coming his brother had made sure of it now to do something that he knew was going to be the death of him. He had to though there was no way that his heart could take the pain of putting her in pain, and doing it knowingly. They met far enough away from the group that no one would know that he was there to talk to him. The look on his brothers' face told him that he had an idea about what had taken place earlier with Kagome. Damn he really had taken the long way but then again to do something like this wasn't something to do with out a lot of thought and so the walk had been painful but honest.

"What happened earlier?" asked Inuyasha cautiously

"You know very well what happened she told you all ready." Said Sesshomaru sighing knowing that this was going to be harder than he had originally thought. Every moment that he thought about her tearing what little remained of his soul out of him and sending it straight to her. Just the thought of removing himself from her life was torture but he knew that it had to be done.

"No she didn't. All she did was hand me a piece of paper that had your handwriting on it and started crying again. Tell me what is going on Maru, if not for her tell me you know that I might understand better than she would." His brother was trying to understand.

"What piece of paper?" asked Sesshomaru thinking that he hadn't left anything behind him then again the pain had come back the moment her hand left his face so he didn't know for sure. Even now with her so close but so far away it was taking everything he had to stay on his feet the pain so intense. He couldn't let his brother see any weakness in him that was just too much to take, but still that pain would be less than what he knew he was going to deal with once he had done this.

"This." Came his brothers' soft answer.

" 'Starving for a touch, a single touch from your hand, To my cold cheeks, Starving for your voice, A single word whispered in my ear, To start my heart beating again, Starving for your attention, A glance in my direction to tell me, That I am not alone in feeling this way, Starving for you and you alone, After centuries of searching, I have found you but you don't know, What you have done to me, Starving for your lips, A single kiss that is all that I ask for, Nothing more at least not yet, Starving for your arms around me, Holding me tight sheltering me from, The emotion that you have freed in me, Starving for your caress, A touch of gentle love that only you, Can give to me it is only you I crave, I starve for you, Starved and dying laying here tonight, Thinking of the one that I want and need, But the one that I might never have, Starving and waiting for you to come, Knowing that you probably wont, You don't know that I long for you, You don't know the depths of my hunger for you, Nothing else in this world will ever Fill me as your love will, I lay here staring at the same stars you gaze Upon starving for you Starving and dying for you.' I didn't think that I had this on me at the time that I met her." Sighed Sesshomaru softly

"Does that mean what I think it does Maru?" asked Inuyasha being careful of how he phrased things, knowing that if it was what he thought it was that his brother was in a hell of a lot of pain.

"Yes Inu it does." Sesshomaru whispered as he closed his eyes.

"Why haven't you told her?" asked a confused Inuyasha

"I don't want to hurt her." His answer

"What do you mean hurt her? Hell man you are hurting the both of you." Said Inuyasha truly confused

"I know that I can change her but to do so would put her in a lot of pain I don't want to do that I cant do that to her. I love her." Came the his painful whisper

"Sesshomaru how are you even standing knowing that she is so close?" asked Inuyasha knowing that his brother had to be in a lot of pain knowing that his life mate was just through some trees and he didn't want to take her. He was refusing her but honestly did he think that Kagome would turn him away over some pain? She had been put through more at his own hands she would take whatever pain it took to stand at Sesshomaru's side for eternity so that he would no longer be a lone so that he would have the love that he needed and from the sounds of things wanted.

"Inu, it is taking everything that I have to stand right now. Yes it is very painful to know that she is there and that I am refusing her. You and I know that by refusing her I am taking a lot of risks but I refuse to hurt her. My pain is worth that.

"Sesshomaru to refuse your mate is dangerous. You could go into a bloodlust that no one could stop you would be worse than Naraku. You are taking a chance with your very sanity, her safety; your very life is at risk because of this. You and I know that to refuse her is to die."

"Yes I know that and I will die if only to spare her the pain." Growled Sesshomaru as he hit his knees. The breeze had brought her scent to his nose, he could hear her heart beat, hell he could almost taste her she was so close to him right in that moment. He would not go to her not now not ever.

"Maru, don't do this to yourself. If she understood she would be here right now standing in front of you begging you to take her. You know that."

"I don't want her out of this pain. I want her heart. I need her love; nothing else would ever be enough. I want all of her heart body mind and soul! I can't have that I want eternity! I want everything and because I do I wont take her!" came the deep growl from the silver youkai now with his hands on his face and his face on the ground inhaling the grass so that he couldn't smell her but he still could no matter what it was that he tired to do to get rid of her scent it haunted him. He knew it like he knew her heartbeat; it was a part of him.

"Maru look at me."

"No!"

"Look at me!" demanded his younger brother

"No!"

"Damn it show me how long this has gone on!"

"Look and understand brother what it is that I am going to ask you." Growled Sesshomaru as he raised his flaming blood red eyes toward Inuyasha, there were blood tears falling from the corner of his eyes. Inuyasha knew then that it had gone on for far longer than he knew of. His brother was at the edge of bloodlust but he was controlling it but for how long was the question.

"Does her touch soothe you at all anymore?" asked Inuyasha. He needed to know he didn't want to have to kill his brother to protect him from his own selflessness.

"Yes and contains me but barely. I don't want her to know that I am like this. Don't you dare call to her."

"You need her! She will come to you call her yourself. Don't do this to yourself!"

"Listen to me brother and know that I will only say this once . . . if I do lose control you must do what must be done. I don't want her to know or to be hurt by this. You must protect her even if it is from me that you do so. Swear to me here and now that you will do this for me."

"Maru you are almost there as we are speak. Why do you deny yourself her love?" demanded Inuyasha

"I don't wish to cause her pain! Swear it to me!" Sesshomarus growl almost a roar now. If Kagome was listening to anything she had heard it and Inuyasha knew that she had. Sesshomaru was so out of it that he didn't realize that he had called to her just not the way that he thought that he had.

"You will have to explain it to her. I will do as you request but only after you tell her why it is that I must do so."

"Still think that you can tell me what to do?"

"No I want her to know that you are going to die to protect her from your love."

"Why do you want her to know that?"

"She is coming."

"I didn't call to her! Why is she coming?"

"For the same reason that she found you in the first place. Your pain is calling to her, you are such a fool Maru she loves you and will die if you do. Why can't you just this once ask her to do this with you? I will stand at your side, allow her inside, let her heal you let her take your pain away you know that only she can. Don't die on her! I know for a fact that she would die not long after for you are her reason for living you and her son Shippo. If you were dead though she wouldn't even find him enough to keep her here. Tell her!"

"Don't tell me what to do she doesn't need to know about this. This is my problem!" Sesshomaru growled, and like the most of the conversation he was roaring the pain too much now he could smell her scent it was calling to him. He locked himself up so that he wouldn't run to her. He refused to fall to the animalistic side of himself she deserved much more than that but at this point he couldn't give that to her. His logical side was busy trying to control the beast inside of him.

"She has stopped do you have any idea how much you have hurt her all ready with just your refusal to let her in. I am not going to leave you but I am going to call to her she needs to know what it is that you are about to do. I hate to see you like this Maru this hurts me. I don't want to kill you father didn't want us to fight we found that out when we defeated Naraku. I don't want your blood on my hands."

"You don't have a choice. You are the only one that can do it." Growled Sesshomaru shaking with the sheer power that he was containing. She was close very close he didn't know if he could deal with it for much longer.

"No you are still in control you can do it yourself. You will wait until after you tell her and make sure that she understands why you are doing this so that I don't have to. Kagome come on. Don't be afraid. Come on he wont hurt you."

Kagome entered the area slowly unsure of what it was that she was walking into. Sesshomaru was again down on the ground in pain. Her heart stopped in that moment. There was something that she needed to know and she knew that he wouldn't tell her. She looked at her best friend and he directed her gaze back to the silver youkai on the ground shaking violently. His face again facing the ground he couldn't stand to face her, she didn't need to see this. Sesshomaru stood slowly and turned his back to her, he was going to walk away from her again. He knew that he would lose everything the moment he did it again but she didn't need this. He would not hurt her with this. With his eyes still closed so that she couldn't see them or the tears that fell from his eyes, the tears of his love as he thought of leaving her again, of dying to save her, he turned slightly to his brother and whispered low so low that she wouldn't hear him.

"Inu you know that I will not allow her to be hurt. You need not worry about me I will finish this myself. Know that I do love her. Tell her after I leave that she is my every waking and sleeping thought, hers is the only scent that I smell, hers is the only heartbeat that I hear, her eyes the ones that haunt me in my dreams, her heart the only one that calls out to me, her soul a perfect match to my own, her laughter the only salve to heal my heart. Make sure she knows that she did save me." He took the first step.

"Wait Maru." Her whisper

"No mai kirie seinei meito (my beautiful life mate). Stay here and don't follow me. Mai kirie tenshi, onegai iie mai kirie hime (My beautiful angel, please not my beautiful princess). Live long and well. Sayonara mai koi (good-bye my love)." He took the second step from her it was excruciating to leave her again, he could smell the salt of her tears, this time all that was left of his heart and soul left him and flew to her. There was nothing left of him he had to get away from her while he had some control over himself he wouldn't allow himself to hurt her. He took the third step.

"Why do you leave when you know that I will not want to live if you are in pain?" she sobbed

Silence, he took the fourth step from her.

"Don't you know that you are all that I ever wanted?"

Silence, he took the fifth step, each one harder than the last. He was dying with each one that he took from her.

"Are you too scared to talk to me anymore? What is so bad and terrible that you can't tell me?" she was on her knees her heart retching sobs breaking her.

Still silence, he took the sixth step from her knowing that he was doing this for her. Blood now flowing freely from his eyes as his life slowly leaving him.

"Kamikuzo (god damnit) Sesshomaru, don't you know that I love you?" she was completely broken now. Inuyasha knelt at her side and placed a hand on her back he knew that his brother wouldn't turn around. He had to tell her what it was that his brother had planned.

"Kagome there is something that you need to know, I don't care what he says or what he does you need to know why it is he is walking away from you. I know that you love him and I know that he loves you; there is nothing wrong with that on its own. See my brother knows a way to change you into an inuyoukai; he doesn't want to do it though to do so he would have to put you in a lot of pain he doesn't want to. No matter how much I have tired to tell him that you would do it for his love alone he doesn't want to hear that from me. He is going to do something that I know that you will try to prevent but if he doesn't believe in you enough to give you the chance to make that choice for yourself then perhaps it is better that things go this way. He is leaving you so that he can die."

"He would leave me alone, no one to love? He would break my heart just so that he doesn't have to put me in pain? Why?"

"He loves you Kagome. He doesn't think that you would undergo the change or maybe he is afraid that you would undergo the change and that you wouldn't love him any more all I can say for sure is that the pain that he is in is because he is refusing you."

"He is in pain because he doesn't want me?"

"It isn't that he doesn't want you, the exact opposite, he wants you more than his next breath but he doesn't want to hurt you."

"What can I do to change his mind?"

"I don't know Kagome but I do know that your love might not be enough this time, and for that I am sorry truly and deeply sorry."

"There is nothing that I can do to save him and myself from this path that he has chosen?"

"Not that I know of. Well there might be a way but I don't think that it would be wise."

"What is it I will do anything to stop him! I love him cant he see that? Can't he feel that? Doesn't he know that? Doesn't he care that I will do what ever I can to be with him? Doesn't he want me? Does he really love me?"

"More than you will ever know Kagome." Was Inuyashas whispered answer as he watched her shatter in front of his eyes. He had to tell her he would not allow his brother to do this to her, no matter what happened to him he would tell her she deserved happiness more than any of the rest of them she had given up so much in the past. He would give her this even if it was just the death that he knew that she would want if his brother still refused her.

"Tell me how to change this course of destruction that he has set for us. Sesshomaru don't you leave me!"

Still silence the only response that she receives from him as he takes the seventh step from her, each step costing him so much more than he allowed to show. To her his back was straight and tall but were she able to see his eyes she would see that they were empty the only thing that kept him walking away was the desire to cause her no harm.

"Take this dagger, one that he himself gave to me a very long time ago that I have never used. When he gave it to me when I was younger he told me that I would know when to use it, now is that time. Kagome I know that you don't like to feel pain and I know that you don't like to cause it to others but my friend my sister know that unless you force his hand he will leave you and die tonight."

"If I must then I will to die would be preferable to living with out him." She said whole-heartedly.

"Inu you promised me!" growled Sesshomaru still his back to them.

"You told me that you would tell her. It is her choice not mine and most certainly not yours if she wishes to be with you she will have you one-way or the other. In this life or the next you will be together it is her choice not ours." Growled Inuyasha

"You are messing with something that you don't understand little brother." Roared Sesshomaru

"So are you. Her love is powerful look at you. You the most powerful youkai that I know were brought to your knees by the power of it and you still turn it away. You call me a baka but you are the real one to turn from her knowing that she is willing to die to be with you." The answering growl of Inuyasha

"I don't want to live if you are not in my life Sesshomaru I will do what I have to, to avoid that pain." Her tears had stopped but he could hear the pain in he voice it almost killed him right there.

"Kagome I cant put you in pain. There is a cost to changing you I don't want to take that chance on you."

"You should have allowed me to take that chance. You should have told me the risk and allowed me to chose." She stood tall at her best friends side, she turned her golden brown eyes more gold than he had ever seen them before tonight. "Inuyasha all I ask of you is to bury me near the palace of the west. That way I can be near him, tell my family that I died in battle don't tell them that I did this they wouldn't understand. I know that the well is closed but you will live long enough to tell them that for me. Thank you for all that you have done for me, taught me and shown me. You are really my best friend. Thank you for understanding. Gomen (I am sorry)." With that he watched as she took the shiruba (silver) inuyoukai dagger and shoved it to the hilt in her chest right above her heart.

Sesshomaru turned at the scent of her blood. What had she done? Why? She was willing to die to be with him? She had taken the dagger that he had given his brother and stabbed herself in the heart. Her precious dear loving compassionate heart was slowing, she was dying right there in front of him. She loved him so much that she was dying right there in front of his eyes.

"Kagome why did you do it?" he asked as he raced to her side not caring that his eyes were still bleeding blood tears, not caring if she found what he had tried to hide from her earlier. He picked her up and held her close to his chest. He couldn't lose her like this. What had he been thinking his brother had been right the whole time; it was her choice not is to make. He cut his wrist and placed it next to her mouth hoping that he wasn't too late.

"Kagome stay with me. Don't close your eyes. I am not going to leave you. Please don't close your eyes. Don't lay down your life for my blind actions. Hold on to me, hold on tight. I will make everything all right. Wake up don't go to sleep. Don't close your eyes. Drink from me take all that I have don't you go to sleep. Hold on tight hold on to me don't close your eyes. Stay with me love me make me pay for pushing you into this. Drink my entire life take from me what I offer freely. Don't you leave me."

"I love you Maru now and forever don't you ever forget that." Her eyes closed.

"No! Don't you leave me! You baka kirie tenshi don't you leave me come back to me! I was staving until I found you don't you leave me. Your love the only food that I will ever need don't you leave me here starving for eternity!"

Her heart stopped.

She was gone.

He had lost her.

She had been his from the moment that they laid eyes on each other her light gone from his life.

Nothing in this world would be able to save him now, she lay there still in his arms he knew that everything that he had lived for was gone with the last beat of her loving heart. The pain that went through him bowed him low over her body, the wound to his wrist was still bleeding but he didn't care she was gone he would soon follow her. So much for having time to find someone to take the western lands over for him. He didn't want to live there was nothing left here for him and he knew that he would fall to the bloodlust soon. It was better to die here in her arms than to go on a killing spree that would far out match anything that Naraku had ever done. Inu had been right he would be much much more deadly than Naraku on his best day were he to let go of the rage and pain that hid in his heart right at the moment.

He looked over to his brother who was also bowed low over his friends' body. He had lost his best friend and was soon to loose his brother all because Sesshomaru had tried to be selfless. He roared his pain and denial to the world neither one of them wanted to believe that she was gone from them. No one else was there but the tachi was headed in their direction, they knew that they wouldn't be alone for long. The lump in Sesshomarus throat prevented him from speaking the pain in his heart kept him from breathing. The thought of his life with out her before had been too much to take the proof of her love for him with her death was far beyond all that he had ever thought he would ever feel. He reached out to his brother he needed to tell him some thing but the words wouldn't come from his throat he had to get his point to him. There was only one way to do that. He closed his blood red eyes and placed the mark of the western lands on his brothers' forehead and gave him the one thing that he had always wanted. Inuyasha surprised by the touch of his brothers' strong hand gently touching on his forehead pulled him out of his grief. When he looked into the red eyes of his brother he knew what it was that Sesshomaru was doing. He was dying right there in front of him and he was giving Inuyasha everything that he had in the world so that the west would always have an inuyoukai to rule it.

"No Sesshomaru you cant do this! You can't leave me too." Growled Inuyasha through the pain. He knew that once Sesshomaru did this he would more than likely leave this world too.

"You must keep your promise to her."

"No use the Tenseiga on her bring her back to the two of us Sesshomaru don't you dare leave me with all of this I don't want it." A tear fell from the hanyous golden eyes

"I will follow her as she would have me. You were right I should have told her. I should have given her the chance to chose for herself what it was that we did about these feelings that we had for each other."

"No Sesshomaru you cant leave me here alone! You can't take everything from me, you're all that I have left you will stay here with me."

"Inu remember that I will always be with you somehow so will she. You and I know that I don't have long before I become a raving beast you have to do this. You have to tell her mother that she died. You have to take care of the west and of my daughter, you can't ignore who you are." Blood tears fell from Sesshomarus eyes again as he tried to tell his brother to accept what it was that he was being given for it was all that Sesshomaru could give to him.

"No you will not die tonight! I don't care what it takes you will not leave me like this!"

"I have to you know that."

"Sesshomaru you are such an asshole you know that! You are going to leave me with a territory that I know nothing about with powers that I don't know how to use and with no one to teach me. Don't you dare do this to me."

"I can do nothing else Inu. Trust in yourself and know that I am with you." Sesshomarus voice was getting softer as he continued to bleed there with his mate in his arms.

The tachi came over the hill and through the trees that surrounded them. They took one look at the scene and knew immediately what had happened. Sango moved toward the two now full inuyoukai knowing that one was dying and the other was refusing to let go. She placed a hand on Inuyasha's back and tried to comfort him. Sango knew that this was the succession of the new lord and that Inuyasha had to take it. He would dishonor what his brother had done if he didn't take it. Shippo leapt from Mirokus shoulder and ran straight at Sesshomaru who was slowly loosing the battle with staying conscious, he watched the kit as he flew to his mothers' arms and buried himself there refusing to let go of her.

"Mom you didn't leave me here alone. You didn't die on me too. You have to come back to me I don't want to live without you." Cried the kitsune as he clung to his mother.

"Shippo Kagome is gone for that I am sorry you must know that I tried to save her." Came the cracked whisper from Sesshomaru as he to held the child and mother in his arms.

"She died because she loved you. You hated her didn't you you didn't love her you couldn't could you. You let her die for you and did nothing to save her." The angry kitsune began to beat on Sesshomaru who didn't raise a hand to the kit feeling that he deserved every punch kick and scratch for what had happened.

"Shippo he did try. You must believe that look at his wrist he is bleeding to death right there as you beat on him. You must understand that he did try." Said the now weeping Sango as she watched the scene in front of her.

"May I say a blessing over her?" asked Miroku as he slowly approached Sesshomaru. He knew that in losing his mate that Sesshomaru would one go into a bloodlust that would make Naraku envious or he would simply die right there in front of them the choice that Sesshomaru had made was obvious he was going to die there.

"Yes." Came the breathed words from Sesshomarus mouth

"You can't leave me Sesshomaru you will not leave me not like this. In 500 years she will be born again you can have her then if I have to I will lock you up for that long but you are not leaving me to." Growled Inuyasha as he pulled out of Sangos grip

"You know that I am not long for this world Inuyasha why think such things." Said Sesshomaru

"I wont let you go I don't care let the kami be pissed of at me and curse me I will not let you die. I will find a way to bring her back to you I know that it can be done don't you dare give up on this."

"I have all ready my brother accept the gift that I have given to you and move on with your life."

"Not with out you two."

"I am sorry Inuyasha but I cant live with out her and even now the other side is calling to me I have to leave now but know that we will both be with you."

"NO!"

That single word rang through out the lands, it was heard far and wide. Inuyasha fell to his knees in front of his brother. He grabbed the bleeding wrist and quickly healed it. He looked into his brothers' eyes, which were changing back into he gold that he knew so well. Sesshomarus jaki was fading into the night sky above them as he looked at his brother for the first time with the love that he had hidden deep with in his heart for so long. He was dying.

"Know my brother that the only reason that I fought you for so long was so that I could help you. I knew no other way. Live well and live long." Sesshomarus eyes closed on the world around him as he lay on the ground with Kagome firmly locked in his embrace. Nothing in this world or the next would be strong enough to pull her from his arms. He would hold her through eternity if for nothing else than to love her.

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IF YOU LIKE THE TRAGIC ROMEO AND JULIET THING THEN HERE IS WHERE YOU SHOULD STOP READING BUT LOVING THESE CHARACTERS LIKE I DO I COULDN'T LEAVE IT LIKE THIS THOUGH THAT WAS MY INTENTION. YOU CONTINUE ON IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE DEATHS OF BOTH CHARACTERS BUT IF YOU LIKE THE TRAGEDY THEN HERE IS WHERE YOU SHOULD STOP BECAUSE AFTER THIS MY HEART TOLD ME TO BRING THEM BACK.