This really needs editing. The concept is interesting and I would like to see it developed, but there are tons of plot points and even dialogue parts that are left unfinished or abandoned altogether -- and I'm only a few chapters in. It is confusing and reading it feels like constantly tripping. Maybe these things get better later, and it's great, I don't know. Anyway, maybe a beta reader would help? Happy writing.
your story has a good plot, but it doesn't flow very well. Which then leaves me bored.
I really like your story, but sometimes it feels like I'm reading diferent stories just put together. What happend with Inuyasha and the group plus kikyo when they didn't fined any shards. Did they ever join Kagome and Sesshomaru? What happens to the girl that gave Kagome the potion. is she still locked up? Kagome is everything and more powerful...why is she acting so weak? Did she get her training yet? Why did she not tell Sesshomaru about the dream? And if the dream was real, does that mean the war is going to last years? And what about Nuraku? In your story he is still walking around destroying stuf. There is no clear enemy now. Also in the early chapters at one moment Kagome didn't want Sesshomaru than she did, than she did not. Finally she loves him but it didn't show clearly why she did. I know I have a lot of questions but I'm just confuse a little. I really do like your story. I'm just trying to understand.
WAAIIIT! WHERE IS THE REST?! Is there a sequel?!
I loved this story, please do a sequel or something. Thank you
Nice chapters, keep it coming.
Great story, I read it on fanfiction. Keep it coming.
Eh.. wasn't she going to bring Gin to a vet for his paw?
ehmmm....i#m a lillte bit confused....wasn't it kagomes intention to take gin to a vet?
and now she just jumps back into the well without getting him help....?
Diane (Chapter 4) - Sat 24 Mar 2012
Like it overall, has a bit of a teen feel to it though. Slight correction, reins on a horses bridle, rein in your temper, etc. The king reigned over his kingdom for many years. So you're using the wrong word.
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