Haha this is cute. :)
Poor Kagome.... how could she forget the cards? XD
Anyway, this is a cute story and ur doing great. :)
Hello,
I believe that your story has a lot of potential. The plotline seems interesting enough, but there are a few thing that you. There are unecessary words within your story that are being capitalized. You only need to capitalize a word that starts a sentence, names, proper nouns, and the first word in a quoted sentence (to name a common few).
The flow could be better. Sentences shouldn't be choppy, but read like they're a river. Smooth and ongoing, excluding bumps and uncomfortable pauses.
Lastly, you might want to double check your word usage. You have a few words that are not being used properly, based on the context.
I hope this helps! Good luck. ^_^
Again, I hope that you don't find my review offensive. (It isn't meant to be.)
-Gabrielle
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