Lady Amalthea (Chapter 1) - Fri 04 Jul 2025

Hey there, 

You have a great jumping off point, now where do you want to go to finish? 

He knows what he lost and how he lost it, but does he know the why?  What does he do to correct his course or has been pit on a path where he never regains what he lost?  Just a few ideas swirling in my head.  You have a great beginning.  


Amai (Chapter 1) - Fri 04 Jul 2025

It has potential. Just needs minor editing tense/POV wise.

Maybe some build-up wouldve been nice but thats really dependent on what you consider important to the story you write. 

Considering the first chapter length word-wise as an introduction and setting the stage, you covered the scene well. Some description of the surroundings (the room) would've been nice to make it more interactive and immersive.  

Its a good first attempt. Do not be discouraged to not continue. The key is to finish something you start with a goal in mind that its going to be under 10 chapters and under 20-30k word wise. Thats doable if you're driven to dabble.  

Good luck !


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