Hello Miss Wick3d.

I had a once over of this story. First, I must let you know that this particular plot does not appeal to my tastes. I suppose it is the idea entirely of a bar setting that just gets me all out of sorts. So I apologize in advance should this review seem biased.

You have a good sense of grammar and spelling.

Your characterizations, however, need a bit of work. I apologize, because I cannot see Kagome working in a bar. Though you made it happen, and so I tried to understand her new personality to go with that occupation. I suppose it works.

Sesshoumaru. I suppose he is the main problem for me in your story. To me, Sesshoumaru is a calm, cool, and collected character. He is capable of being ruthless as well as gentle. But most of all, he should have control of himself. The part I find difficult to follow is that Sesshoumaru, though obviously enamoured with Kagome, does not force her under his care. Though I suppose I do see the problem with Kagome's obstinant nature. However, that he hangs around Kagome and even shows off that she belongs to him through kissing her. Now that part I find a bit... beneath Sesshoumaru.

Though. I suppose I also should take into consideration that you are sort of doing a song fic, right? And that's all very well, but I also do not like how you just toss in the Inuyasha characters' names around and not support their personalities, no matter that this piece was a short one shot.

Overall, I see much potential in someone like you. You obviously have the skills, you only need to plan out and think about the characters better. Keep it up~

Poor Sess...  Nicely written and great action scene!  He's just gonna have to learn how to deal with dating a good-looking independent woman, lol!