You might reread what you write I've noticed a few places were information is given then changed.
Example:
At first you said that the boys looked to be between 4-6 but then you described them and keep using the word toddler which indicates that they are more likely around 2-3 years old.
Another one is when she wakes up she thinks that it's so wonderful that shippo is understanding about the boys and you say they have been traveling for a few weeks rather then a week. You keep going back and forth on the time line.
Other then those few areas it is very well read and I wonder what will happen when sesshomaru finds out. Lol I look forward to your next update.
Hello,
I have to say I'm melting...this was such a sweet chapter!!! I love the interaction between Kagome and the kids. And your characterization of Inu and Yasha is absolut authentic: they are indeed two diffrent charachters but share at the same time common characteristics with our adult hanyou. Well done!!!
Just a suggestion: if you edit your previous chapters try also to correct this mistake: you tend to begin a sentence with a small letter.
I really look forward to your next update!
P.S. I know this is a strange question, but did you change your name?
Oh now this should be good. I can't wait to see how sesshomaru reacts when they tell him what happened.
Aww... the toddlers are so cute!! I can totally picture Kagome being all cuddly and motherly with them. I can’t wait for her to fill Sesshoumaru in on what has happened to InuYasha.
oh this was a tease!!!
I'm glad I could help ;) This is a really nice chapter and I'm glad to see that it is longer than the previous two!
But there is one thing I didn't get: do Inu and Yasha somehow know they have once been one? What exactly is their relationship?
I hope the gang will not find a solution soon, insted it would be nice if you would continue to focus on the two children: who of them will develop faster, who is more clingy, who will feel the need to protect the other, or will they be rivals? ... stuff like that ...
I hope there will also be a lot of fighting for Kagomes attention ;)
I really see forward to your next chapter!
I forgot to mention before: as far as I remember Puritysan was volunteering for being a Beta not so long ago...try to message her. There is also a section for authors who need a Beta, or volunteer to be one, in the Doguka Forum.
Good luck!
first of all congratulations!!! It's absolute refreshing to read about a completely new idea! I have to say that I don't remember reading about a similar plot! Therefore I would like this story to not be abandoned, like so many others...
Honestly I find your writing style good, you do not need to hesitate and be afraid of what we would think, just keep going on ;)
The only suggestion I have: try to stay in the past forms, you switch between present and past forms...
I look forward to your next update!
Nice please update soon
I knew this would be a good story. I hope you find a beta reader. Your chapters have been good and clearly express what you want your readers to know. I'm looking forward to your next chapter.
Update soon onegai
Ja ne
Aw! I just adore these kinds of stories where he's changed to a cute little boy. I'm curious to see how the little human inuyasha is going to act.
This sounds like it's going to be an awesome story! I can't wait to see what you have in store for us!
Interesting idea never read it before! will be waiting for more
good luck!
Good first chapter Good luck I will be looking for the next chap please update soon.
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