Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters from the Inuyasha show. Those all belong to Rumiko Takahashi & her brilliant mind. I also do not own any of the music that will be mentioned, I will credit every artist at the beginning of every chapter!
I'm back! My updating will probably be spotty until the end of May, I have finals coming up. Anyway, here's the continuation! I hope y'all enjoy!
Song for this Chapter:
Crescent-Shaped Depression by Touché Amore
"Sesshomaru!" Kagome cried, staring at the bottom of the well in disbelief.
Panting she stood and climbed to the top of the well as fast as she could. Once at the top she jumped down to the bottom, closing her eyes and praying she'd go back through the well.
Thud.
Her legs buckled under her weight, she fell to her hands and knees. Jumping up she bolted up the well again, jumping down once more.
Thud.
The impact made her stomach turn just as it did the first time. This time she didn't fall, instead she repeated her previous actions. Climbing up the well, jumping down, landing on the cold, dirty bottom. Rinse and repeat, she lost count of how many times she plunged into the deep well. Swinging a leg over she prepared to jump again, sitting on the edge she stared down into the empty bottom. She felt nothing, completely numb as the terrifying realization set in. The well was closed. She couldn't return to Sesshomaru, Shippou, or her other friends. Shaking her head she steeled herself, this time it would work. She'd jump and land back in the Feudal Era, just as she had done countless times before.
"Kagome! Oh my dear, I never thought we'd see you again!" The shaking voice of her mother stopped her in her tracks.
Slowly she turned her head, tears were flowing freely down her cheeks.
"What happened?" Mama asked, taking a tentative step towards her. A deep crease marred her forehead as she stared at her disheveled daughter.
Dirt was caked on Kagome's palms and knees, which had begun to bleed from the continued impact with the ground. Her hair was wild, small flecks of dirt speckled her moist cheeks. Bloodshot eyes stared for a moment, before looking back down the well. Dirt smeared across her cheeks as she hastily wiped her tears away and inhaled deeply.
"I'm back, I'm really back."
"Honey, of course you are! Didn't you mean to come back?"
"No, Mama, I didn't. I'm sorry."
"Kagome dear, come inside please."
"Oh Mama, I've lost him!" Kagome wailed, her mother quickly approached her, wrapping her in a soul-crushing hug.
"Inuyasha?" Mama asked, running a hand through Kagome's hair.
"Sesshomaru." She whispered, cracking on the last syllable. She felt her mother kiss the top of her head gently.
"Let's go inside dear, we'll get you cleaned up and you can tell me everything." Her mother soothed, rubbing circles on her back.
Kagome nodded, sobbing as she used the last of her strength to stand. Her knees shook and gave out on her, causing her body to plummet towards the floor. Mama caught her quickly, slipping one arm around her daughter's waist. Using her free hand she brought Kagome's right arm around her own shoulders, supporting her fully. Slowly, they made their way to the door of the shrine. Sliding the door open with her foot, Kagome's mother led the girl through the door. The cold air bit her skin, stinging her wet cheeks. Small flurries of snow kissed her skin, she opened her eyes to see the flurries filling the air around them. The moon was high in the sky, illuminating the pristine white ground. Looking up to the sky she saw the Waning Crescent declaring its presence. A sob reverberated through her body as the moon reminded her of the man she had just given her heart to.
"Shh, it's okay baby. We're almost there." Mama whispered.
The pair trudged on through the thin layer of snow, through the back door of the house and up the stairs to the bathroom. Kagome's mother sat her on the toilet before she scurried out of the room, returning with an armful of supplies. A change of clothes, some bath salts and essential oils, bubble bath and a pair of soft, pink slippers. Kagome sat staring at the floor, silent tears still falling down her face, as her mother busied herself with filling the bathtub.
"Okay, I'll leave you now, take your time. I'll make you some hot cocoa when you're done." Placing a hand on her head Mama kissed her daughter's soiled forehead.
Sniffling Kagome nodded, listening for the door to close before she stood. All her joints, muscles and bones ached, begging for some kind of relief. She was still wearing her Miko attire. Holes had been ripped in the knees, mud and blood caked her sleeves and where her knees were protruding. Untying the knot at her navel she let her clothes fall off. Tentatively she stepped into the inviting water, the heat stung her skin as she sank under. The cuts on her hands and knees stung at the contact, plucking the nerves and sending jolts up her arms and legs. Grimacing, she stilled, allowing her body to get used to the sensation. Bubbles covered the surface of the tub, and the soft aroma of Chamomile, Lavender, and Jasmine permeated the atmosphere around her. She curled her knees up allowing her torso to sink under the water stopping just below her chin. The grime from the well melted off her body into the water, the only remaining dirt on her sat proudly on her cheeks. She splashed some of the warm water up on her cheeks, sullying the water with more dirt. The ends of her black locks swam under the water, and the humidity made her bangs stick to her forehead. A glisten of silver caught in the corner of her eye, drawing her attention.
A small window above the tub gave the moon permission to pour its ray across the room. Kagome's eyes welled with tears as she stared at the moon, the shape reminding her all too well of the beautiful markings on Sesshomaru. Tears brimmed in her swollen eyes, why did this keep happening to her? Every time she was on the edge of recovery, catastrophe struck, breaking her world into pieces so small they seemed impossible to pick up. Let alone put them together again. The only saving grace she could hold onto at the moment was that she was home. Her mother, brother, grandpa would all be here for her this time. She wouldn't suffer through her grief alone, not like she had before. Before she had Sesshomaru, before those fleeting days in his arms flew by. Cursing softly as tears came to her eyes she wished she had cherished the time she had with him. Kagome sat in the tub, sobbing softly to herself, until the water grew cold and her fingers began to prune. The bubbles fizzled away and her once damp bangs dried to her forehead. She cried until she couldn't anymore, and only left the tub when she heard her mother knock softly on the door.
"Kagome, honey, are you okay?"
"Yeah, sorry, I'm getting out right now." she replied.
"I have a warm towel and robe for you, I'll crack the door open and leave them on the sink." Mama said, opening the door just enough for her arm to fit through.
A fluffy, pink towel came into view, along with a knee length white robe that had small blue flowers patterned across it. The blue on the robe complimented the pink towel, which matched the pink slippers, beautifully. Kagome stared at the object before begrudgingly pulling the plug out of the drain and allowing the tub to empty. Carefully she stepped on the gray, fuzzy bath mat that sat next to the tub. A shiver ran down her body when the cool air touched her, hastily she grabbed the robe and wrapped her bare form. Her wet hair dripped cool water down her back, which prompted her to tie her hair up with her towel. Once she was sure her feet, and the rest of her body, were dry she slid on the pink slippers and opened the bathroom door. Her mother was no longer standing there, and the rest of the family appeared to be asleep. The clock in the hall read 2:51am. No wonder everyone was asleep. Biting her bottom lip she padded softly to her room, creaking the door open as quietly as possible. Her room looked the same as the day she left it. There wasn't a speck of dust anywhere in the room, and her bed was neatly made. The closet door was slightly ajar, revealing her clothing still neatly hung. Her heart panged at the thought that her mother kept up with her room in hopes that one day her daughter would return.
Picking out a matching pajama set Kagome discarded her robe, she couldn't care less where it landed at the moment. After the final button was fastened she crawled into her welcoming bed and pulled the comforter up to her chin. A small knock echoed across her silent room and shortly after light crept into the room. Her mother stood at the door with a mug in hand.
"I brought you cocoa sweetie." She whispered as she crept across the room. The mug was placed gently on the nightstand next to Kagome's head.
A gentle hand stroked her hair, tucking a couple wild strands behind her ear. Mama leaned down and kissed Kagome's forehead, bringing fresh tears to the young woman's eyes.
"Now, tell me everything." Mama said, sitting on the edge of the bed.
A hiccup escaped Kagome's lips before she took a deep breath. Slowly she told her mother everything. Starting from her first day back in the Feudal Era, and ending with Sesshomaru at the well. She left out the more graphic, or intimate, details. Her mother was a silent audience listening intently to her daughter's tale. At the end Kagome heard a few sniffles escape the other woman.
"Oh honey, you've been through so much. I'm so sorry!" Mama exclaimed as she hugged her daughter.
"Mama, what am I supposed to do now? I'm back with you all, which don't get me wrong. It is fantastic, but I lost my other family. I love them as much as I love you, and now I'll never see them again. I didn't even get to make peace with some of them! And Sesshomaru, Mama I love him so much. It feels like my heart has been ripped out of my chest." The young girl's voice cracked at the end.
"You've been through more than you should've at such a young age. I'm so sorry. I know you left them behind, but they'll always know you love them. That sentiment will never die, even if you never see them again." Her mother replied. She placed a loving hand on her child's cheek before she continued.
"I'm sorry you lost your love, I know how you feel. When I lost your father it felt like my entire world was crumbling around me. It was the most devastating thing to happen to me at the time," she sighed, "Everything was hard. Talking, laughing, eating, breathing, existing. Every day was a challenge just to survive after losing him, but I did it. Just like I know you will. You are so strong sweetheart, you will persevere. And I'll be here for you every step of the way."
Tears fell softly onto Kagome's pillow, dampening the silk pillowcase.
"Thank you Mama, I love you."
"I love you too baby. Get some rest, you need it." Her mother whispered, kissing her daughter's head once more. The blanket rustled as she stood, and the door clicked closed behind her.
Kagome cried for a while longer after her mother left, soaking her pillow thoroughly. She prayed to the Kami's, and cursed her luck over and over. The murky cloud of unmanageable sadness overwhelmed her brain. Just as she had before she felt herself sinking, further and further into the abyss. The sun was starting to rise in the sky when she finally fell asleep. Despite her wishes, time marched forward.
18 Months Later
Kagome lay in her bed, staring blankly at her ceiling. It was 1:36pm, she'd been in bed for the past three days. She hadn't eaten, showered, or talked for that matter. It was a rough week, those happened often. Every now and then she'd take a deep breath of fresh air, for a week or so she'd feel like she was getting better. There wasn't a day she didn't think of him, most of the time it was manageable. Then something would remind her of him. Whether it was a stranger that looked, or smelled like him. Maybe it was the moon taking the shape of his marking, or an exceptionally white cloud reminding her of his hair. Any progress slid down the drain, sucking the life out of her, suffocating her once again. This was one of those times. She had been watching TV with her younger brother Souta when a program on Feudal Japan aired. They spoke briefly about yokai lords, emphasizing on the idea that yokai were a myth. The thought that the man she loved still, didn't exist, sent her spiraling.
Visits to the well had become a daily ritual, she'd jump in, with a hopeful heart, and pray she would land back where she belonged. Disappointment was all she was met with. Each time she hit the bottom she'd shatter all over again. It was an agonizing process, any stable person would've stopped months ago. Despite her emotional instability Kagome held down a job, she was an EMT for her local hospital. The thrill of running a call kept her from going off the deep end. Working in an emergency kept her mind busy and satisfied her need to help others. She loved what she did, oftentimes it was the only thing that kept her going. Occasionally on calls a betraying thought crept into her mind, would Sesshomaru be proud of her?
The question struck her heart like lightning, shocking her to the core. She was sure he would be, scratch that she knew he would be. There wasn't a doubt in her mind that the Inuyokai would support her through anything. When her anxieties hit their high, usually before she fell asleep, she missed him the most. Even though she had slept next to him a handful of times she couldn't get used to sleeping alone. Her dreams were haunted by the memory of Sesshomaru sleeping peacefully, the sunlight illuminating his face. The way his hair fell gently around his chin. She didn't know if she'd ever fall in love again.
Despite Kagome's feelings her mother and grandpa held on hope she'd move on. The pair set up many blind dates for the young girl. They never meant any harm so Kagome never complained. She'd go on the dates, promise she'd call the guy, then never see them again. The plan worked for a while, until she met Kazuki.
Kazuki was a genuinely sweet guy, from the first moment he showered Kagome with love. Though they only went to a small coffee shop he showed up with a large bouquet of colorful flowers, and a very expensive looking ruby necklace. The necklace he insisted on draping around her neck, tucking loose strands behind her ear as he did. He was dressed well too, a black button down that was tucked into a pair of light khakis. Even his shoes, navy loafers, complimented the outfit perfectly. He was insistent on buying her drink, and even escorting her home. At the shire entrance he kissed her hand and told her she'd see him again.
Many times after that he would show up at the shrine, with flowers or coffee, maybe a small pastry, and ask her to sit with him. Not wanting to be rude she often did. There was one night in particular, a new moon, when he leaned in and kissed her for the first time. Kagome was shocked, she didn't react. The kiss they shared was nothing like the ones her and Sesshomaru shared, there was no spark for her. Kazuki, however, was thrilled, and that night he called her his girlfriend. Kagome wanted to argue, she tried telling him she wasn't interested, but he wouldn't listen to what she had to say. They'd only been together three months and he was already talking about moving in together, something Kagome was entirely uncomfortable with. They argued about it and he left the shrine fuming. She was entirely unbothered, and couldn't find the ability to care if he broke up with her. Regardless, it led her to watch TV with her little brother, which in turn sent her spiraling.
Time marched forward as she lay numb in her bed. Glancing one more time at the clock, 2:05 am, she rolled out of bed. Sliding on her pink slippers she quietly made her way downstairs, and outside, not paying any attention to her surroundings. Creeping up to the well she held her breath as she opened the door. Praying he'd be standing there, behind the shed door. The breath escaped when she opened the shed and he wasn't there, he never was. Biting her bottom lip to stifle a cry, she knew he'd never be there, why did she ever get her hopes up? Walking up to the well she leaned on the splintered side. A single tear fell down her cheek and into the abyss.
"Sesshomaru…" she whispered. Her grip tightened on the edge of the well.
The crushing reality finally hit her, she would never see him again. Turning away from the well she closed the door behind her as she left. It felt like her soul had been ripped from her body. With no spirit left to hold on to Sesshomaru any longer, she swallowed, and gave up. Tonight she would move on, she'd try to heal. Even though she didn't want to, she was going to force herself to get over him. It was the only way she'd ever be able to go forward with her life. The melancholic healing began when she looked at the Waning Crescent moon and refused to let any tears fall.