Kagome didn’t know why she thought it would matter, that it might make a difference.
The sky rolled on, blues fading to white, then back. A mesh of comfort, framed in crimson fall leaves. A reminder that all continued, no matter the end.
But for some reason, it had. Lying in that decrepit hut earlier, scared, hurting, and achingly alone, she had needed this. She had needed this solidness beneath her back, and the infinite possibility of the sky before her.
She let her head loll to the side, watching the shadow covered grass dance in the breeze. Purposely ignoring her sliced, splinter filled, bleeding hands, and her sweatiness.
What was done, was done. And honestly, she didn’t regret one minute. But, that didn’t stop her heart from throbbing, it didn’t stop the aching, or the tears from burning down her cheeks. It didn’t stop the anger or sadness or worry. And late in the evening, when she was left with only the midnight symphony and the air in her lungs, it didn’t stop her loneliness, or make it any less painful to remember. No. Just because she didn’t regret her choice, didn’t mean she didn’t suffer. Like all things, it was a trade.
A fluff of dandelion fur floated by, bouncing precariously over the tops of the grass before coming to a stop inches from her nose. Another thing at the mercy of a higher power. Pushed where the Gods required it, and then left to lead a life a difficulties, all to fulfill some unknown purpose. Would it grow strong, or be left alone long enough to be used as fed? Who knew?
What she did know was that here, would not be where it rested. If anything, maybe she could send it to a better place with the wind from her lungs. Maybe it would find a lush paradise and make a dandelion patch, leading to the fulfillment of many dreams.
Softly she puffed, and with a hopeful gaze, she watched it once more enter the chaotic wind. Wishing childishly for salvation –for it and her.
Abruptly her skin pimpled and a shudder raced down her spine.
A warning.
Gritting her teeth, she fought the urge to roll in the grass, and scratch the skin from her body. A common reaction to a hostile and excruciatingly familiar presence.
It was to be expected.
Clenching her bleeding hands, she closed her eyes, forced a deep steady breath, and then waited. It wouldn’t matter what she did or didn’t do. If it had been only three weeks ago, she might have stood and faced the pursuer proudly. She might have smiled, and greeted him as they customarily had done for months. But all of that was far from achievable for her now.
It was all out of reach, forever.
She bit her lip to stop the burning in her eyes, focusing instead on the pain and copper tang that coated her tongue.
It was out of reach by choice.
Natural was key. He couldn’t know, that was the point of a sacrifice. If he ever found out, if he ever became aware, then all that she’d worked for could be lost.
The bite of a blade kissed her neck. Just deep enough for her to bleed with a heavy swallow.
“You will tell this Sesshomaru the whereabouts of my ward, and why my strong hold smells of you, miko.”
God his voice.
Weeks, she’d gone weeks without it, and still it weakened her.
Her lip quivered.
And Rin. Her throat tightened and dried. She knew the truth would destroy him. She knew it. Because after spending months with him, she’d learned that he wasn’t the ice cold ruler he tried so hard to exude. Had Jaken not told him?
Had he really forgotten even that much?
Not trusting her voice, Kagome reached for the blade at her neck, and pressed up, signaling him to remove it. One they’d used during their sparing sessions together. But as he didn’t remember what had happened with Rin, he wouldn’t remember those either. It didn’t matter though. He’d told her once that they were universal signals.
She watched his eyes narrow further,
Rin’s death had been the starting point of their entire journey.
-----------------------